Two Things I Know

Your probably are saying; Ernie, I knew it.  You would only know two things.  Before you beat me up any further, let me just say that if anyone including myself could master these two things, that person would be considered great among all people and very popular too?

When this Blog came to mind a few days ago, I immediately thought of two friends whom I will not mention their names out of respect for their privacy.  I will make this short and sweet I hope.  Lets take a look.

The Two Things are:
1.)  I know I don't have to be right;  This is a big one for me.  I grew up with a father who is always right (and really is 90% of the time).  What I have found is that it is better to "defer rightness" to others and be rich in relationships than be right and be poor with friends.

Deuteronomy 12:8b NKJV  —every man doing whatever is right in his own eyes—
Proverbs 14:12 NKJV  There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

As we can see, every man or women think they are right, even to the point of death?  Although these verses have a more spiritual implication where death is denying God, I do believe it has a more physical application in regards to earthly relationships and not just our Heavenly relationship with The Father.

I have a friend (he no longer calls me one) whom accused me several years ago of something that I did not do.  I could have proved myself "right" at the cost of hurting at least four other people not including myself, however, I knew it was better that my friend think himself right and lose his friendship than possibly damage the other relationships to the point of irreconcilability.  Those other relationships were more important than mine and his.  To this day he will not talk to me.  I had hoped time would soften his heart towards me but it has not yet - still hopeful!

2.)  I know that encouragement is better than criticism:  Now let me say two things before I go further; 
1.  This is directly related to the first "I Know" and,
2.  I SUCK AT THIS (or in the Queens English "sucketh at this").  Remember, knowing and doing are two different things!?



As a former Law Enforcement Instructor/Trainer it was important to be able to properly critique the students and correct any problems to help increase competency.  My two training mentor's Rick Myers and Jack Strenges had two different approaches for me.  Rick told me; People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care! and Jack would tell me to say; This is not a point of criticism but a point of interest!  (that is a cool statement huh)


Ephesians 4:29 NLT  Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.


With Rick, I learned to care and I really did.  I loved my brothers and sisters in the badge and cared very much for there safety.  I didn't want them to just survive, I wanted them to win and be mentally healthy as well.

With Jack, I learned that a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down.  He would tell me that if I was going to help them mentally, I had to build them up and not just tear them down.

Since I don't need to be right all the time, I don't have to tell people how wrong they are and I find it easier to give encouragement than before.  I am continuing to work on this with my wife's help.

Blessings
ernie